Ensure The Means To Reach The End

Achieving your goal is important but the pathway to achieving your goal is even more so.

Being able to set a goal but detach the outcome is an idea that many people find conflicting.

Listen to most sports coaches and they will talk about winners - athletes and teams that won’t allow themselves to lose - and the fierce will to win. What they rarely talk about is the process.

From the get go, this puts the emphasis in completely the wrong place. It allows the mind to succumb to pressure, pressure that is already there but that doesn’t require a further boost.

Most athletes already have the will to win, so it’s the process that requires belief, concentration and finesse. Preparation to win is king not the outcome.

Words like desire, knowledge, learning, graft and enjoyment is what breeds success not focusing on the W.

This concept transfers itself wholeheartedly into every walk of life. Take some time to consider what you do best and then think about the attributes involved in that success.

If you want to achieve a goal, my advice would be the following:

Set your mind to what you want.

Dream it.

Prioritise it.

Study, Learn, Practice (Repeat)

Work on it daily.

Enjoy it.

To use a sporting analogy, if you want to become a scratch golfer you are better off practicing for an hour a day each week than for 3 hours twice a week.

This way the body and its muscles develop memory and become more effective and efficient. The mind creates neuropathways in exactly the same way and we also don’t overload our learning capacity.

The key to a successful goal is to enjoy the process. If you are not doing that, then you are flawed. When we start out playing sports as kids, firstly we are learning our technical skills, more latterly our mental skills but importantly we are also having FUN.

Watch professional athletes or teams closely over a period of time. In terms of their success and achievements, you will notice that it happens when all is good in their world. There is a smile on their face and they are at peace with all around them. Subsequently they are succeeding.

In all my years playing sports, watching athletes participate in sports and now working with them, I am yet to either experience or witness goals and successes being achieved when people are unhappy or dissatisfied.

A Game Changer says...

While it might seem like it, setting goals and being able to detach yourself from their outcomes are not in conflict with one another.

The secret is to rationalise the outcome once it has been set and to ‘chunk’ it down in size.

For a swimmer looking to knock 2 seconds off their best time, it is about working in tenths on say a weekly or fortnightly basis. 2 seconds might not seem like much but if focused upon incorrectly, it is what causes extra pressure, malcontent etc.

In summary, your goals and ambitions can absolutely be achieved, just ensure to go about them in the right way. The means are certainly more valuable than the end!

Golfing great, Walter Hagen, once delivered the famous quote, “You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry and be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”

Whilst all of that is great advice, the second half of the last sentence is the one to stay concentrated on.

Always Consider Your P.A.W.

In terms of achieving any personal desired outcome, there are three things that you need to believe if you are to stand a good chance of success:

1. Possibility:

It is possible to achieve the outcome.

2. Ability:

You are capable of achieving the outcome.

3. Worthiness:

You deserve to achieve the outcome.

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Possibility

Belief as to whether something is possible is not only restricted by personal beliefs; there can also be cultural beliefs that prevent us from achieving.

For many years before Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile it was considered an impossible task. Yet in May 1954, the impossible was made possible as Bannister ran the mile in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds.

Once the belief that it was possible had been created, only 6 weeks later an Australian rival called John Landy took an incredible 1.5 seconds off Bannister's record. Amazingly, within a year of Bannister's record-breaking achievement, a further 36 people broke the 4 minute mile; and within 2 years over 300 people had achieved the so called 'impossible task.’

The point of the story is that as human beings we all have our own limits - we just don't know what they are!

Ability

Rarely do we over-estimate our own ability. More often than not it is our own beliefs that get in the way of our true potential.

We tend to take our beliefs to be facts when they are often either wrong beliefs or just generalisations about how things might appear at a particular moment.

These beliefs can be created on the flimsiest of evidence. On occasion it may take only one or two occurrences for us to create a belief that something we've done (a behaviour) can become something we do (a belief).

In a sporting context, examples of this might be the following:

"I always miss penalties"

"I'm rubbish at bunker shots"

"I never jump a clear round"

"My backhand is useless"

Each of the above quotes may have been created as statements of fact in our heads, when actually each may have only occurred on either one or a couple of occasions.

The danger is that they act as mental handcuffs on our actual ability, so if you do tell yourself you can't do something, put a 'yet' at the end of the sentence. In our minds this allows us to rationalise the situation and understand that we can improve it.

Worthiness

Only we know whether we are worthy of achievement. It can happen that someone believes an outcome is possible and that they have the ability to achieve their desire but they don't feel that they deserve to.

This belief can be just as destructive and is often related to low confidence or self-esteem.

The point is that you DO deserve to achieve your outcome and if you do not believe it, then there are ways to change this.

A Game Changer says…

The three things you should be able to say to yourself in order to test your self-belief and achieve your desired outcomes are:

"This outcome is possible"

"I have the ability to achieve this outcome"

"I deserve to achieve this outcome"

If you feel congruent when you say the above three statements, then you have the belief. If you feel incongruent, then you have a limiting belief which must be dealt with before you can achieve your outcome.

15 Phrases We Should Constantly Repeat To Ourselves

We all want to get more done but unfortunately all the time management tips in the world can't help us overcome one of the biggest issues affecting productivity - our mindsets.

Fortunately, it's easier to change your mindset than you might think. All you have to do is change what you say to yourself!

If we're honest, most of us have a negative monologue running in our heads at least once a day and probably a whole lot more. We tell ourselves how tired we are, how disorganised we are and how much we hate having to do certain things.

But what if we told ourselves something different? Whether you say something out loud or inside your head, what you say to yourself matters. Our mind's interpretation of language plays a massive part in how we respond and ultimately perform.

With that in mind, here are 15 phrases that you can use every day and they will help you to achieve harmony, stability and confidence:

1. "I'm going to succeed at _______." When you tell yourself you'll succeed at a specific task, you're contradicting any self-doubt that may hold you back.

2. "I've been successful in the past." Remembering and rehearsing specific past successes helps build self-confidence when in doubt.

3. "I can overcome my fear." Acknowledging your fear is very empowering and making a choice to overcome it will give you the strength and confidence required to help achieve it. There are only two fears that we inherit without choice throughout our life and they occur at birth - fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Any other fear has been developed by choice.

4. "That wasn't as bad as I thought." Many times the things we worry about either never come to fruition or aren't half as bad as expected. By reminding ourselves of this, we empower ourselves to stay positive and think of the best.

5. "I did something no one else was willing to do." Big or small, there's something you've done that no one else wanted to do. By 'patting yourself on the back' for it, you can build good habits.

6. "It's my fault." Taking responsibility for the things we do enables us to apologise when necessary to make a situation better. Just don't blame yourself when it's not your fault!

7. "I got started." The first step is always the hardest and celebrating it is something we do too little of. Always congratulate yourself on getting started.

8. "You're awesome." No one hears this enough but it is true of absolutely everyone. We all have different ways in which we're awesome so take the time to remind yourself.

9. "I don't care what other people think." The truth is that most people think about you and what you do far less than you think, so every so often remind yourself that it's what YOU think that matters.

10. "They're no different than I am." When you start to judge others to lift yourself up, you're giving yourself a false sense of pride. Instead, admit that everyone is more like you than you realise and you'll feel less isolated.

11. "I can do this." Right before you step into a challenging situation remind yourself that you can do this because if you believe you can then you're right!

12. "It's time for an appointment with me." Most of us don't make enough time for ourselves. Instead, set a proper appointment within your own diary so you can do whatever it is you want to do.

13.  "I'm not perfect and that's OK." Feeling like we have to be perfect before we take a certain next step in our lives holds many of us back. Take a moment to tell yourself that not everything has to be perfect to go forwards.

14. "That's my job but who cares." Being willing at times to step above and beyond your specific 'role' is a great way of being noticed and standing out in both work and life in general. Even if no one notices, you'll feel great knowing you made a difference.

15. "You're good enough right now, just like this." We all want to move forward, progress and accomplish certain things, however sometimes we simply need to remind ourselves that we are good solid people right here, right now. There is nothing more important and satisfying in life than being comfortable with who you are.

A Game Changer says...

Talking to yourself intentionally may seem like an odd thing to do but it is incredibly empowering and effective. Contrary to belief, self-talk does not mean you are going mad. It is a natural sense of behaviour, which is at times utilised by everyone.

Successful self-talk is what we all require and that it is why, like any other skill, it is important to practice the right type of self-talk regularly.

These 15 thoughts and actions will almost certainly assist you with being more contented, positive, confident and successful.