Why Not Create Your Own Reality?!

A Story To Remember

Great athletes in every sport understand the importance of trusting their technical skills and they do it regardless of the results they achieved on their last attempt.

Stuart Anderson, a University of Virginia football player who went on to play for the Washington Redskins franchise, is one of the best examples.

Upon attending a seminar on ‘Confidence’, Stuart was asked to share with the group what went through his mind when he was thinking confidently.

He replied with a story from his high school basketball career. “I was a fifty per cent shooter from the floor,” he said. “In the first round of the state playoffs I took my first shot and I missed.”

Stuart kept missing. In fact, he had the worst shooting night of his life in that game. He missed twenty odd shots in a row. His team were on the edge of elimination.

Upon hearing this, one of the group attendees asked, “Stuart, why didn’t you start passing the ball after you had missed, say, ten in a row?” “Because I’m a shooter”, Stuart replied.

As the game went on, his team scrapped and scrapped and managed to stay in it. Then, with just a minute to go and trailing by a point, they stole the ball and called a Time Out.

The coach, reasoning that Stuart was so terribly cold that night, proceeded to diagram a play in order to run 55 seconds off the clock and finish the move with a shot for another player, a junior.

“Wait a minute, Coach!” shouted Stuart, “I want the shot. Give me the ball.”

The junior, as it turned out, didn’t really want the shot due to the huge pressure at that stage. So the coach, against his better judgement, changed his plan and called a play to give Stuart the shot.

Stuart received the ball beside the free-throw line, one of his favourite spots. He turned and jumped, completely confident. His eyed zeroed in on the rim. He let the shot go…

Swish, it went in. Stuart was the hero. Fans carried him off the floor and the next day the paper’s headlined his game-winning shot.

Upon hearing the end of the story, another of the attendees asked, “how did you stay so confident after you had missed all those earlier shots?”

“Well you have to understand, I’ve always been a fifty per cent shooter”, replied Stuart. “After I missed one, I figured the next one was likely to go in. After I missed two, I was overdue. By the time I’d missed five, I figured the next shot absolutely had to drop. Every time I missed, I figured the odds were increasing in my favour.”

“Okay”, the attendee said. “If that’s how you think when you miss your first shots, what do you think if you make your first six or seven in a row?”

“Well that’s totally different”, Stuart said. “You decide that tonight’s your night, you’re hot and you’re going to make everything you look at.”

“That’s ridiculous”, the attendee replied. “You can’t have it both ways.”

“Of course you can”, Stuart said.

A Game Changer says…

The simplicity and brilliance of Stuart’s final comment reveals everything we need to know about high level performers and the way their minds operate.

They simply create their own realities.

So, whatever your profession in life, remember to think however is necessary to maintain your confidence and get the job done. Always ‘train to trust’.

At the end of the day, we all create our own realities. You just have to pick the right one!

Strike A Pose - There’s Everything To It

When Madonna once famously sang the song ‘Vogue’, she penned the lyrics ‘strike a pose, there’s nothing to it’.

From our mind’s perspective, however, there is everything to it. It is a known fact that the positioning and shaping of our bodies can strongly influence our minds.

To test this premise right now simply stand up tall, put your shoulders back, arms out wide, your head up high and smile widely. How do you feel? Good, right?!

Now sit back down with hands tucked into your lap, hunch your shoulders forward, bow your head to the ground and frown. We’re guessing you’ve noticed the difference!

Strong body language creates presence and in turn presence shows off confidence, passion, enthusiasm and authenticity - attributes that we often strive for in our lives.

So, if you are to take with you just three vital learnings from this blog, then these are those:

Our bodies change our minds

Our minds change our behaviour

Our behaviour changes our outcomes

In 1971, Albert Mehrabian, a professor at the University of California, published his findings from research into face-to-face communication. He found that our communication could be broken down into three areas: our body language, our voice tone and the words that we use.

Importantly, he also found that the degree of meaning we take from each of these three elements is very different - 7% comes from the actual words we use; 38% can be found in our voice tone; and as much as 55% comes from our body language (our physiology).

What this tells us is that as much as 93% of all our communication is done unconsciously using non-verbal means.

Returning to our friend Madonna, one excellent way of putting yourself into the right mindset for any important meeting, presentation, sporting event or performance is to spend a few moments striking some power poses (examples below).

The difference this can make as to how you then feel and subsequently perform is phenomenal. 

When we strike ‘alpha’ poses it releases our testosterone hormone that allows us to feel assertive and comfortable whereas when we are hunched up and small it releases our cortisol hormone which in turn make us feel anxious and concerned.

A lot of people may think that spending a couple of minutes adopting a power pose “isn’t them” or that they “feel foolish”. This is understandable but what we are saying is do it in private, do it wherever suits you best. The impact these 2 minutes will have is potentially huge.

Amy Cuddy, a renowned social psychiatrist and professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School famously said “don’t just fake it ’til you make it, fake it ’til you become it”. Wise words indeed.

A Game Changer says…

The mind and body cannot work independently. It is impossible to change one without affecting the other. When we alter our physiology it changes how we think and feel and when we think in a different way it changes our physiology.

The implications of this are massive in all walks of life so it’s important to consider it wisely, use it to your advantage and get it right!

When a top athlete is preparing for a major sporting event, take a moment to watch how they affect their own body language several minutes prior to the action. It is very noticeable in high octane alpha sports such as boxing. Also watch the competitors prior to a men's athletics 100m final. It is fascinating.

Finally, having read this blog, we ask that you do one thing. Before your next meeting or interview, sporting event or important performance, take just 2 minutes to strike a few ‘power poses’ and as you do it, smile and allow yourself to feel good :-)

If I Were You, I'd Go With The Flow

What is Happiness? It's an age-old question that throws up so much debate.

Hungarian psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi asks, "What makes a life worth living?"

Having contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness and human fulfilment, Mihaly noted that neither money nor material goods can make us happy (see chart below) so he looked to those who found extreme pleasure and lasting satisfaction in actions that bring about a state of "flow" - a state of heightened focus and immersion in activities such as Art, Sport and Work.

After many years of study Mihaly found that when a human being is in "flow", they are in a truly happy state. Therefore "flow" contributes hugely to a person's ability to experience happiness. The chart below illustrates where the "flow experience" exists.

One very interesting observation he makes is the differential between experiencing pleasure and "flow". Pleasure is described as primarily a passive state such as watching a movie, having a massage or receiving a gift, whereas "flow" is created as a result of an active state that is completely within an individual's control such as playing sport, running, painting, dancing etc.

"Flow" can contribute a far greater impact on our happiness since the state can last much longer than pleasure, which can reach its peak of intensity in a relatively short period of time.

A Game Changer says...

When a person is in a "flow" state, their brain function is almost entirely focused on the activity itself leaving no room for distraction, self-talk or even a perception of time.

It is a wonderful, magical place often referred to as "the zone".

The zone is effectively a trance state where our alpha brainwaves are at their strongest. A good example of this, which most of us have experienced at some time or other, is when you are driving a car down the motorway and you suddenly realise that you've gone 20 miles in a flash without even noticing. So much so that you wonder if you've even missed your exit!

During this time you are actually driving at your most effective because you are driving without distraction and you are totally absorbed in the task.

So, when you are next frustrated or feeling unhappy don't just wait around for someone to cheer you up or offer you some words of encouragement, get out there and activate one of your favourite pastimes or hobbies. Immerse yourself in whatever you love doing the most and watch the happiness filter its way back to you :-)